Going Out to Eat with Food Allergies

Spontaneity goes out the window when you are allergic to foods.  So what does it take to go out to dinner or any meal when you have strict diet? Not much, frankly. But planning and calling ahead is key. Most people do not understand allergies, so a little explaining goes a long way.

Jahan, in your second year of life you have now decided to actually try pizza and you decided that you like it, (imagine that), well love it, we are venturing out to a local pizza spot. Taking a one and two year old out to dinner is a whole other adventure, but we are doing that too.

So what does it take?  So first off,  I found a restaurant that is "allergy-friendly" - they understand allergies (sort of) and offer items that are friendly, usually gluten-free (GF) and/or exclude the top 8 allergens (wheat, soy, eggs, dairy, nuts, peanuts, fish and shellfish).  Next, I call them during non-peak times. 2pm is a good time. I ask for the manager. I explain your allergies, what I would like for you to eat and ask for them to read the ingredients to me off every single item you will be consuming or offered.  After ensuring all ingredients will be safe, then comes the risk of cross-contamination. That means that other items that may have touched items you are allergic to then comes in contact with your food. For example, a spoon. Or butter that a utensil went into that previously touched wheat for example. None of that can happen - big no no, since we already know you have reacted this way.  Okay, so by now, the manager is either completely freaked out and tells me he/she cannot guarantee safety OR the manager is willing to accommodate and guaranteeing safety.  We like safety. Anything other than 100% is no go for us.   If safety is guaranteed, I tell the manager my name, when we are coming and that's it. Then when we arrive at the restaurant, I ask for the manager and all communications and expectations are set. I literally do this for EVERY SINGLE RESTAURANT. EVERY TIME. EVERY TIME WE TRAVEL. We have to live and venture out and explore the world. We will NOT put you in a bubble, so we take risks. We mitigate these risks as best we can, the only way we know how.

Cheers to pizza...and hopefully wine for mommy!

"How Do You Do It?"

Friends often ask me, "How do you do it?" Before I can answer, they often answer their own question, "I don't know how you do it."  I honestly don't know how I do it. What even is "it"...it's a lot.

Having a child with a chronic health issue is the most challenging thing I have ever gone thru and continue to go thru. Every day. Every party. Every play date. Every meal. Every label. Every bite. Every single damn ingredient. I would be lying if I said it's easy. It's incredibly challenging to be that parent.

You see Jahan, all I want for you is normalcy. I try so hard every day to fight for that. In your school, your classroom, with your friends, your family, at the table, at the restaurant.  I yearn for this for my baby.  We DO NOT believe in wrapping you in a little bubble, requesting food bans, which would impact so many others. Accomplishing this means, you are around foods so close in proximity to you, that it could do serious harm, as we have seen.  As your parent, I am trying to keep you safe, that means I feel the burden, the stress, the what-if.  Trying to educate others, I am often viewed as overbearing, overreacting, a helicopter mom and the list goes on, mostly negative. It is a hard journey.  Co-parenting is equally challenging.  Daddy and I will continue to be diligent in maintaining your safety and also your quality or life, including relationships and experiences.  Then there will be new challenges that OIT will bring. Many in fact. For starters:

• Will we all relocate to California? The thought of separating you from Emrys breaks my heart.
• Will we stay in Maryland and travel back and forth to California every few weeks for the duration of the treatment that takes years?
• Will you be successful with this treatment plan? Will we be successful?
• How will we manage your schooling while in treatment?

The list goes on and on. I don't know what we will do or how we will do it, but we will do it and you will ride off into the sunset, free from these shackles.